I want to beat him with a sack of doorknobs



Every now and then a magazine cover appears in the supermarket that I find so overwhelmingly irritating that it bothers me in my sleep. I was in the slowest moving line of all time yesterday so naturally I stared at this cover until I felt a blind, flowing, all-consuming rage. I woke up this morning and punched my pillow. Take a good, long look at Justin Bieber and tell me I'm not alone.
 

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