HHD: Things I Suck At, results are in!


Horrorthonner’s don’t disappoint! Reading through your haikus I concluded that I’ve never known a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.* There was a lot of suckage to wade through and I learned a lot (things perhaps I didn’t want to know) about my fellow bloggers.


In no particular order I learned that 50P hates babies,

i'm good with kids, but
i'm no help when they're infants
can't change a diaper

(could probably learn
but the smell of baby shit?
insurmountable)


I learned that most of us suck at sports,

Stan,

8th grade little league
Not one hit. The whole season.
Stick to wiffle ball

I feel your pain, brother.
JSP,

I also can’t bowl
Ball always drifts to gutter
As do all my thoughts

Octo,

Nemesis baseball
Can't catch flyballs in movies?
I so was that kid

AC,

batting-handicapped
throwing, catching, kicking fine;
can't hit ball with stick

DCD,

I suck at all sports.
Did gymnastics in my youth,
growth spurt ended that.


I didn’t learn anything about Catfreeek because I concluded long ago that her home must look like that of a hoarder,

I suck at cleaning
just can't get motivated
I dust once a year

Big pile junk mail
I throw it on the table
knowing that it's junk

My bedroom's messy
I do vacuum often though
a must with 5 cats


The runner up is JSP with this little gem,

Horrid singing voice
When singing “Happy Birthday”
I just mouth the words
Me too, little brother.


The winner is AC for revealing a number of personal insecurities,

i just don't sleep well
of all the things i suck at
this for me is worst

it's hard to say no
bites me in the ass daily
will i ever learn

admitting i'm wrong
incredibly difficult
fortunately rare



My favorite of AC’s,

i've no fashion sense
don't do "outfits" or "shopping"
but you all knew that

AC, I’ve struggled with this my entire life. My solution? When I buy clothing I just buy whatever the mannequin is wearing in Old Navy, he can’t be wrong, right?
Congratulations, AC!

*I just love to crowbar that in whenever opportunity presents itself.
 

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